Monday, April 26, 2010

Ask the Right Questions

I have concluded that chemistry is not enough to keep a couple together: I envision a successful relationship similar to running a small business; when two people share similar visions, using different strengths of their personalities to build a stronger partnership; running as effortlessly as possible, facing challenges together and most importantly to get to the destination of choice and enjoying the ride getting there.

When I see relationships this way, it is a lot simpler to see who is right for me. I know being with another me would not be ideal and throw everything off balance. Two people who crumble under too much stress would be a recipe for disaster and let’s not talk about some artists’ salaries (at least not right now).

So, is a partnership like a business? Who is your perfect partner? Mine will be more like a rock- solid. He has to handle stress better than I do and be more steady work wise. He also has to be compassionate. I am easily turned off by attitudes that fail to express empathy for injustice and forms of cruelty. He also has to be curious about the world and have the desire to see it like I do. We all live for something that makes us happier than other things in our lives- mine is the beach. It is like home for me and I do not want to give it up for anyone- please no.

What do you need? What is missing in your life? Are you an explorer who needs another explorer? A builder who need another builder? Do you want a family? Just asking yourself should make the search much easier- then ask the right questions.

I need stability, a loving friend and a bit of a muse. Can I have all three? Yes, definitely. I know it. It is risky to settle for something that will not give you what you want- unhappiness will settle in eventually.

Just be honest and it will show up. When you know what you want, you will recognize it when it appears. Just don’t settle. I did for years and it wasn’t worth it. I rarely felt peace or passion; I didn’t travel the way I dreamt of and questioned my partner’s integrity- then my own.

Asking the right questions? Not a bad idea. It wastes less time and cuts to the chase. Figure out what you want and let it find you. It will- just give it a chance. Actually, give YOU a chance.